One of the things I still struggle with is the idea that it is ok to strive, not for perfection, but for good enough. We are all dealing with a mix of circumstances within but also beyond our control. Sometimes, especially when you’re trying to be everything to everyone, you have to accept that if you are doing your best with what you have then the outcome will be good enough.
Many of us try to be compassionate human beings when thinking about others. We feel the pain of a person going through a difficult moment, we try to be understanding and offer support if someone makes a mistake, we understand that imperfection is part of being human.
But how many of us do this when looking in the mirror? How many of us have that internal voice that scolds and blames? If you make a mistake, is the immediate feeling one of shame and failure or can you acknowledge the experience as an opportunity to learn?
Dr. Kristin Neff says that
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failingsself-compassion.org
Many women who burn out do so because they have very high expectations of themselves and perfection is where they are aiming. Sustainable recovery requires a shift in thinking and a softening of the internal critic is a fairly essential part of this.