I was at the ice rink and I was annoyed.
My youngest daughter had needed help getting her skates on, then tightened, then loosened and we were finally on the ice only for her to make a face and start complaining. 'These skates are too big! My foot is slipping. It's not comfortable.'
My initial reaction was to suggest she do one tour of the rink and see how it felt after that. As she was doing her round, I questioned my irritation. Why was I reacting so badly to her letting me know her skates were not right? Skates that are too big could cause a blister or worse, make her even more unsteady on the ice, cause her to fall.
I realised that for a long time I would have rather put up with slightly uncomfortable skates than make someone go through the hassle of returning to the skate hire and changing them. I would have ignored my need for comfort and security and made do with what I had. Is that what I expected of my daughter? Is that what I wanted to teach her?
When she returned I asked her if it was any better. She shook her head and I took her hand to go and change the skates. When the second pair had an uncomfortable bump, we got a third and only when she was comfortable and secure did she go out and enjoy the ice to the full.
She reminded me of a lesson I still seem to have some difficulty learning. How important it is to pay attention to our needs, no, further, to demand our needs are met.
How often do you push your needs aside not to make a fuss, and just make do? How often are you not even sure what your needs are?
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